This is the post I've most struggled with most so far in this October Writing Series. As you may know, I found these topics and prompts through a random post I discovered on Instagram. Most of the topics have come easily, but this one seems so ambiguous.
Begin... What does that entail? What is it that is beginning? Is it a new beginning, or is it more like beginning again. And what exactly does it all look like practically? I mean, when the rubber hits the road, what does it even mean to "begin" something?
I've spent hours thinking through how to write on this topic, and even now I feel I have more questions than answers. When I can't find words, I often look to others to help me fill in the gaps in my language. This habit is what led me to the OSH Breviary.
Four times a day I open the pages of my Breviary to pray. This book forms the basis for our corporate prayer life in the convent. Each morning we pray through Matins (morning prayer). At noon we pray Diurnum (mid-day prayer). Promptly at 5pm, our books open to Vespers (evening prayer). Finally, as the sun sinks beyond the horizon, we pray Compline (night prayer). Our day is both bracketed by and sustained throughout with the written prayers of those who have gone before us, some by centuries and others by just over a decade. It has been through reflecting on the topic "Begin" through the lens of the Breviary that I have finally found some words to write.
Each of the offices (or prayer times) have basic formats. They follow a similar pattern. We pray from the psalter and there are readings and canticles. Additionally, each office contains a hymn. The hymns are often more modern creations, but they aren't your typical hymns found in the books in your church pews.
Matins hymns are often full of images of creation. As the sun dawns around us and light fills the chapel, we recount the creation narrative through our songs of prayer. We praise the "Creator of the light" who "made the day with radiance bright." We recount how God's "wisdom joined the sun's first ray to eventide and named it day." And we ask God to "shed through our hearts your warming ray." Light plays an immense role in Matins. As the sun rises, so does our hymn.
The day begins afresh. Light washes over us through the many windows of the chapel, and we are reminded of the Light of Christ which shines into our hearts. This Light is what illumines our eyes and allows us to begin the day with renewed hope and courage.
Perhaps that's where this post should end. I suppose talking about this particular beginning should be enough. But Matins doesn't stand alone in the Daily Office. It is not the only prayer time, and I can't help but look beyond the beginning of the day to see how God might be working through beginnings.
Diurnum's hymn still often talks about light. But instead of the rising of the sun, it often talks about the work we do while the sun is high. We sing, acclaiming God who is "creation's secret force" and who is "unmoved, all motion's source." We ask that God, "from the morn to evening's ray," will "through all its changes guide the day."
Then we turn to Vespers in the early evening. Again, the hymn brings us to a recognition of light and creation. The mixed media quilt piece pictured here by Sr. Miriam Elizabeth (OSH) puts me in the mind of Sunday's Vespers hymn specifically. It starts by recounting creation yet again, but in a different way than how Matins goes about it.
"Over the chaos of the empty waters, hovered the Spirit, bringing forth creation," we sing. And then the amazing truth of new creation in Christ, that "by the same Spirit we regenerated into the body of our risen Savior." Where Matins focuses on creation from the standpoint of "new beginnings" and "fresh starts," Vespers seems to look at the fact that sometimes we can't begin afresh, but must instead begin again. I get the sense that it is more about carrying on in hope rather than giving in to chaos.
Finally, we come to Compline... night prayer... the prayers we say as we finish a day. I'm beginning to realize that Compline, though it is all about wrapping up the day and seeing an end to our labor, is also about beginnings.
One hymn sung at Compline reads:
"O Christ, you are the dawn and day
before whom darkest night gives way,
illuminating all our sight,
the source of faith and light of light."
Again, it's about light. This time we recognize the setting of the sun, the diminishing of the external light around us, all the while remembering the Light which shines even in darkness.
The hymn continues:
"To you, O blessed One, we pray,
defend us at the close of day;
may all our rest be found in you,
and peace be with us all night through."
This verse holds a tension in it for me. There is a recognition of the close of the day, but we pray for a continuation of the peace which Christ gives. Though the day ends, Christ does not.
We sing on:
"O Christ, remember us, we cry,
who now as mortals live and die;
you, our souls' keeper and our friend,
be present with us to the end."
This is where I believe we see the beginning again. You may look at this verse and see ending. Death is the most final and concrete ending we know of in our mortal state. And yet, in our end is a beginning. In our going down to death, we rise in life. In our commending of our souls to God, we find we are given everything in return. In our endings, we begin.
This praying through the hymns of the Daily Office in the OSH Breviary has helped me to see the cyclical pattern of life. Life and death, death and life. Beginning anew each day. Renewing our commitments to each other and to God and to this life each morning. Living, sustained by God's peace and mercy and love. And resting each night, knowing that whatever happens, we will never stop beginning in Christ.
We are made new creations. We are brought in, cared for, and nurtured. We are always beginning something. Some new growing edge is found and worked upon. Some old hurt is finally cleaned out and true healing starts its work. And in the end, when our breath stills in our lungs and our bodies lay at rest, we will begin again. This time in a new life. And something tells me that even then, there will be a glorious rising, a beautiful beginning, that will go on for eternity.
Comentarios