In my last post I mentioned that God is indeed present to us if we would just open our eyes to see. This is the first step of praying the Examen - opening our eyes. Becoming aware. Asking for our senses to be honed in to what already is a reality in our lives. This openness is what carries us through the next couple of steps in praying the Examen.
The fancy, theological term for step two of the Examen is "Consolations." In other words, we find ways to "console" our hearts, or to comfort our spirits. Remember that the Examen is a way of prayerfully reviewing the day? Now that we've asked God to open our eyes to God's presence in step one, we move into that review of the day. When we have eyes to see all the ways that God has been present in our day, it is a natural step to find consolation for our souls in knowing God has been there for and with us. This spurns us on to thanksgiving. Use step two of the Examen as a way of remembering that the day you're reviewing was a gift from God, as was every blessing that happened throughout it. Allow the gratitude for God to seep it's way into the broken places of your heart, allowing this time of thanksgiving to mend areas of hurt. Take comfort in this step.
Sometimes, in difficult seasons, step two may be a tough step. Sometimes we are hard pressed to see the good gifts God gives to us, especially when hurt and suffering seem to loom so large in front of our eyes. There are times when it is easier to see the broken places of the world. If you find that you are struggling through step two, I encourage you to pray through step one again. This isn't to say that you are "going backwards." Instead, it is a reopening of your eyes. If you cannot find a way to be thankful as you review your day, pray again that God help you see the day through the Divine Vision. If anything, it is going to continually pull your heart and mind toward the Truth, Goodness, and Beauty found in the presence of "I am." And that alone is something for which to be thankful.
The third step of the Examen is often referred to as "Desolations." This is a ominous term that is no more obviously clear to discern. But it comes down to having our eyes open again. When we open ourselves up to seeing our day through God's eyes, we are bound to see a mixed bag of details. Our day will certainly reflect God's goodness and blessing, but we will also easily see the world's brokenness. We will see ways in which we did not act in the best interest of ourselves or our neighbors. We will see ways in which we have sinned in thought, word, deed, and omission. We will see the things we have done that hurt another person, or the things left undone that could have caused goodness to flow. This is a chance to take a sobering look at how our lives reflect the brokenness of our fallen world.
Today is Ash Wednesday, and today begins the season in Church-life known as Lent. The season of Lent is very much like the step of Desolation in the Examen. Lent is a messy season. Ash Wednesday kicks off Lent in the middle of winter, in the coldness and dampness of February. Winter winds chill us and snow drifts cover over leaves long fallen from trees. Mud and mess seem to be everywhere as we trudge through frostbitten landscapes.
It is not unlike our hearts. We allow the monotony of everyday life to cover over the mess that is there. Increasingly left unattended, the muck piles up and overflows from the long forgotten corners of our hearts to make its way centerstage. Lent, as well as the step of Desolation, invites us to deal with the mess. It's not about covering up the mess with a nice platitude. Remember, we are looking at our day through God's own eyes. And God loves us too much to leave us as messes. God invites us to see, I mean really see the mess that Sin causes. It is a cosmic force that has wrecked our hearts and our relationships and our world. We feel the effects of Sin, and sometimes even add to the effect of Sin in the world. It is a heavy burden to stare at the brokenness in our own souls.
Tonight I'll be attending an Ash Wednesday service. And tonight I'll have a dark smudge of ash rubbed onto my forehead and the words will be spoken over me, "Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return." The reminder of our mortality, the heavy realization of our deaths, is a difficult thing to face. The Examen as a form of prayer is hard when you get to this phase of seeing how the forces of Death play in your own heart and relationships.
But the Examen, just like Ash Wednesday and Lent in general, is a pattern of discernment. It calls us to face head on the areas of our hearts we would rather leave covered up. It turns a Light on areas of our souls that have always been half-shadowed by darkness.
Desolation is a difficult step to face. But without grappling with the very real power of Death, we will never see the full power of Resurrection. And that is where step four comes in. Ask for healing. Ask for forgiveness. Ask to live again.
Daily we see the effects of Sin in our lives. Daily, if we truly open our eyes up to see as God sees, we will have our hearts broken by the things which break God's own heart. In step four of the Examen, we ask to be healed. And this is not only for our own sake. In Judaism it is known as "tikkun olam." This is translated as "repair of the world." This ideology claims that it's not just a Jew's responsibility to care for their own spiritual and material welfare, but they must care for the welfare of the broader world. I think we have a lot to learn from this. It is not only that we ask for healing from the powers of Sin and Death in our own lives. We must ask for healing within ourselves, and then work to be agents of healing in the world around us. We are Christ's own Body in this world, after all.
I invite you to pray through your day with these steps. Find those moments of Consolation and give thanks for the many blessings the Divine Presence gives. Find those moments of Desolation and take a good, hard look at the ways in which Sin affects the world and our lives. And finally, ask for healing from the powers of Sin and Death. As we live into our healing and live into the new life offered to us in Christ, may we be ambassadors of God's healing touch to this world.