Awareness of Presence

“Draw near to God, and God will draw near to you.” James 4:8a

In Exodus, Moses asked by what name God is called. What name is given to the God who is sending him to the Israelites? What name defines God? God responds with two words. Simply, “I am.” God’s defining name is all about Being – about Presence. This begs the question, how am I to draw near to the Divine Presence? And how does the Divine Presence draw near to me?

The Examen is one such way of drawing near. The Examen is a form of prayer made famous by St. Ignatius of Loyola. St. Ignatius was a 16th century Spanish theologian. You may have heard of him before. He is the co-founder of the Jesuit Order. His life is an interesting story, but I’d like to spend more time focusing on what he calls Spiritual Exercises than focusing on historical background. (For some resources on learning more about St. Ignatius, this webpage is a great place to start. Click HERE).

The Examen is a framework in which one is drawn to the presence of God. You “Examen” your day through the lens of prayer. It calls for objective observation – a looking back at your day and finding the ways in which God has been present even when we have not been aware of that presence. In looking back at the day, we can then look forward to the future in hope and with a grateful heart.

So how does one Examen their life? The first step is simply to become aware of God’s presence. This seems like an obvious first step. After all, God’s very essence is about being present to us. God is “I am.” God is Present. This is the incredible scandal of the Incarnation. The Almighty, the Holy One, the Alpha and Omega, became Emmanuel – God with us. The Eternal Word through whom the world was spoken into being became the very flesh that God created. The Presence that animates all of life, came to this earth as a poor and unassuming child. The Source of all Being stood on chubby legs and took those first wobbly baby steps. The One who has been, who is, and who always will be, walked among us on dusty paths that eventually led up a hill to a cross. And it was there that flesh was pierced and hung up to die.

God through Christ went up the path to Golgotha to go down the path to death. The Word became flesh, and went the way of all flesh. The scandal of God’s death, however, became the redemption for our deaths. That which was assumed from humanity in Jesus has been redeemed. This means that even the most solitary thing we do, even Death, we do not do alone. Even Death itself, which seems to be the last great Enemy, has been conquered and redeemed through Christ’s own death. God has become present to us even in this most lonesome of moments. God has become Emmanuel even to the uttermost parts of life and death.

And yet, we need the reminder that God is indeed present to us. We so often are blinded by the mundane quality of everyday life. We get into our routines. We wake up to the same alarm tone each morning and get ready. We go to work and make it through our “daily grind.” We come home and eat some dinner. We watch our shows or read a few chapters of a book and then head to bed, laying our heads on the same pillow night after night. It’s easy to forget amidst the monotony. It’s easy to walk with blinders on our eyes. So how do we wake up? How do we open our eyes and actually see God’s very real presence in our lives?

While I was in the convent recently on my aspirant visit, we sang a hymn that has hounded my mind for days on end.

“Your truth remains from age to age,

The saving truth for which you died,

A cloud by day, a flame by night

To go before us as our guide.”

-Diurnum Hymn, OSH Breviary

This image of God being a Cloud and Flame is of course harkening back to the story of the Israelites coming out of Egypt (Exodus 13:21) But I’ve been thinking recently about this image of the Divine. A cloud by day. A flame by night.

A cloud is hard to see through. The presence of a cloud obscures our vision. I think of the fog that lays thick on the ground first thing in the morning. We peer through that vast expanse of cloud and strain our eyes trying to make out shapes and figures. It’s like trying to see through mud. It confuses our senses and dulls our ability to discern a path ahead. And this is akin to God’s Presence?

I believe that God is Darkness. We don’t like that image naturally, but hear me out on this. Getting to know God, getting to understand God, is like trying to see through the fog. We peer out into Scripture trying to find facts and truths and we get these obscure parables about what the Kingdom of God is like. We try to make out the shape of God, to define and name who God is to us, and we get the complex answer of “I am.” Getting to know and understand God means that we have to “un-know” and “un-understand.” The journey of getting to know means walking through what is in all practicality darkness to our senses. God is a cloud by day.

Flame is something altogether different. Even the smallest of candles can illuminate a dark room. This is also an image for God. In the darkness of our present life, fighting cosmic powers of Sin and Suffering, God is Light. God shines into the darkness and says that darkness will not have the final word. God’s presence is a comfort and a peace in the midst of a world that would like to tell us that we must live in fear. God somehow enlightens even the uttermost parts of our own darkened hearts, casting light on areas that we had long forgotten. God is a cloud by day, yes, but also a flame by night.

So what does this all mean? My friends, this means good news. For regardless of whether you are needing a pillar of cloud or a blazing fire lighting your path, God is present in both circumstances. God is present in good and bad, in trials and joys. God is indeed Emmanuel. And that means that when we need to “un-know” our assumptions of how God will act, God shows up. And it means that when we need that peace which surpasses understanding, God shows up then too. God is here, despite the fact that our mundane lives and routines like to tell us otherwise.

Take some time to center yourself in prayer today. Draw near to God, and open your eyes to the ways in which God has been drawing near to you. Ask that as you Examen your day, you do so with eyes to see the movements of God. God is present. We need only to have eyes that see.